Today, my brain felt heavy to carry. Not only did the beginning of my day feel incredibly slow, but I have also felt truly stuck trying to find a decent recipe for what my entries should be composed of. It truly scares me that after a year of blogging, I will look back at my entries and feel like not a single thought was properly formed, written, or, most importantly, expressed. Like I said, my brain feels heavy—just like your suitcase after spending 15 days in an unknown destination—which makes me wonder if what I am keeping up there consists of useful recollections of my life or simply clutter that will collect dust in my parents’ attic.

Exchanging some messages with a friend earlier, she suggested that I start my entries by breaking down what I wanted my book to be like. And as much as I enjoyed imagining what I wanted to do visually with my book, it became a little concerning to me how difficult it seemed to unpack my suitcase and start putting things where they belong. It wasn’t until very late—after I had a pleasant evening playing Taskmaster with some friends and was able to rub off my anxiety—that I realized that perhaps the reason it was hard to put things where they belong is because I need to clear up space and that I also got too many souvenirs in my trip!

These blogs, then, shall serve as a colander—letting the excess drain away so that only what matters remains. They will help me sift through the thoughts tangled in cobwebs and make room for the ones I’ve been struggling to carry in a suitcase that feels too small. Perhaps, before I can organize everything neatly, I first need to let go of what no longer fits.